Listening to Life's Messages

Looking down at the sea of Taleisim from the women's section of Marina Roscha's shul, I suddenly realized that it's the last chance for my 6 year old daughter to make it down in time for birkas kohanim.   I told her to quickly run downstairs so she can stand under Tatty's talis, but she said that she was too scared to try to find him by herself. "But look, you see Tatty and the boys right there, so you know just where to find him!"  "Yes," she answered, "From up here I can see exactly where Tatty is, but when I go downstairs, I can't see him anymore!" "Ok," I said, "So tomorrow we'll go down earlier so Tatty can meet you by the door." She stayed near me, but her words kept ringing in my head. Isn't that the story of our lives?  From above, everything is so crystal clear!  But when we are actually down IN the situation, we get lost in the heat of the moment, and suddenly not

6 years ago today, I was blessed to become a Mommy for the first time, to my precious daughter, Nechamale. Although I have shared my journey to motherhood several times before, and although it is deeply personal, I decided it's finally time for me to put it on paper. Shortly after our wedding, (like many women in our community,)  I was already dreaming of becoming pregnant and welcoming a baby as soon as possible. I expected it to happen quickly and naturally, as it BH does for most woman, but as month after month passed by without any news, I started to feel very anxious.  Any doctor I shared my concern with said to wait at least one full year before worrying, which didn't really feel possible... But when we hit that one year mark, my fear and emptiness reached a whole new level.  That second year of waiting was so painful for me, and I was extremely impatient. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I did not "take it well" at all! Although I used to love kids