When a Good Deed is Actually a Sin

One of my biggest challenges is choosing between all the million wonderful things that I need and want to do. 

It's not easy trying to figure out who and what to say yes to, who and what to say no to... 

And what to do first, what to do second... and what to push off indefinitely.

But as I read today's Mitzvah of the day, I was reminded of just how much the right order of priorities matters.

The mitzvah is that it's forbidden to switch around the order of how we give our donations. Instead, we need to follow the specific order of the Torah -

First separating gifts of our first fruits to be given to the Priests in Jerusalem, then separating 1/50th of whatever is left for the Priests, then 1/10th of whatever is left for the Levites, and finally 1/10th of whatever is left, to be eaten by the owner in Jerusalem.

If this order was not followed, and one separated the later tithe before an earlier one, even though he was doing a good thing, he has actually transgressed this commandment!

This possibility, that even a good deed or act of kindness that we do can actually be considered a "sin" if it's at done at the wrong time, is so important to remember at every step of the way...

It reminds me of the Rebbe's wise advice to a woman who was struggling with properly filling all her roles as a mother, daughter, wife, and active public speaker.

She asked for a blessing to be "a good mother, a good daughter, and a good wife."

Instead of giving her a blessing, the Rebbe corrected her order and replied, "A good wife comes first." 

And when she didn't seem to get the message - the Rebbe repeated it again, 

"A good wife comes first..."

The implications of this advice to everyone, and in every stage of life, are endless... 

Because having the right order of priorities is the only possible answer to how to juggle it all.

We can't and are not meant to do everything, and it's ok if many things fall through, as long as we are taking care of first things first. 

Our only responsibility is to start with those who are most important, (which of course begins with basic self-care!), and then to continue in the right order with whatever time, energy and resources are left. 

Because if we Gd forbid mix up the order of our goodness and kindness, no matter how worthy those causes might be, there just might not be enough time left for those people and priorities which really matter most.